Beginnings...

Today is day one of no coffee!  I enjoyed a lovely elly pot of chai tea
...no sugar or milk and it was a lovely experience.  No coffee is a big
deal for me....I am a self-proclaimed "coffee snob"  who has ordered
green kona beans from the Hula Daddy Plantation in Hawaii and had it
shipped over so that I can roast my fresh kona beans every morning and
indulge in the most delightful cup of java you can imagine....EVERY DAY
...FRESH!  Add in a little organic half and half and ...OMG...Delish!
I've stepped away from coffee before as I've done cleansings and have
needed a little less caffeine in my life(please peel me off the
ceiling).  But what is unique about today is that I have support,
guidance and I am simply ready to get off this emotional roller coaster
and discover me...whoever the hell that is....it just is.  I am taking a
step further along the path of discovering balance within myself by
cleansing my body of candida...I think this has been an underlying issue
for me for years.

This unraveling that I speak of began a few months ago when I allowed my
self to consider "what do I want my life to be?" and "what makes my
heart sing?"....I mean...really be open to whatever that meant.  I
was doing some work with Louise Hay affirmations and she said that if I
said "I love and approve of myself" that it would be "life
changing"....so I thought why not...let's see whatcha got Louise.  "I love and approve of myself"
became my mantra...I chanted this to myself several hundred times a
day.  I mean....I knew I wasn't happy in my nearly 2 1/2 year
engagement to my former fiance who spent the majority of his day engaged
in a serious avoiditation practice disguised as a "meditation"
practice.  We loved each other, but we weren't very compatible and it
was becoming painfully obvious...it had been for months...I just was too
into suffering and "sticking it out" as was he. 

I'm getting off this emotional roller coaster...
...I've never like carnivals.